Idiots
by DorkQueen
Summary: There was just something about her that turned him into an idiot. Amy/Jake original oneshots weaved throughout the Cahill vs. Vesper series.
1. Boyfriends

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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_Amy's eyes were misting. "Thanks, Evan. For all the amazing work. You're the best."_

_"Somebody cue the violins," Dan said._

-The Dead of Night, p. 187

-x-

"So that's the boyfriend," Jake blurted. Immediately, he snapped his mouth shut. _Stop it._Lately, his thoughts seemed to flow from his brain, straight to his mouth and out. It was like he had ADHD.

Amy was looking at him now. He cursed again. Now that _that_ thought was out, he was forced to keep talking. "The blond boy with the glasses. Evan Tolliver. Your boyfriend?"

Great, now he couldn't even talk in complete sentences.

Amy snapped the laptop shut. They had just finished the video chat with the group in Attleboro. Sinead Starling was there, as usual, as long with Evan Tolliver. "Yes, he's my boyfriend."

"What about the pretty boy?" Jake said, searching his memory. He was good at memorizing facts and info. Names, on the other hand… "The one who went rogue."

Something flickered in Amy's face and was soon gone. "What about Ian?"

"Is he your ex?"

The green eyes widened. "No. Why would you think that?"

Jake shrugged. "The way he looks at you…" God, what was _wrong_ with him? Now Amy was going to think he stalked her boyfriends or something.

There was an awkward pause. Why were they even having this conversation? Why had he brought up Evan Tolliver? He had never talked about dating with Atticus or even with his father. It was a subject too awkward to be discussed, a subject much more complicated than the origin of life or global warming.

"He—he kissed me once," Amy said. Her voice was so soft that Jake had to lean closer to hear her. "In Korea." She cleared her throat and looked up. "But we never dated."

Their faces were so close. Jake felt himself inch forward…he could see the freckles on her nose now…his heart pounded…just a few millimeters left…

And she jerked back. Her face flushed a rosy pink. Jake waited for the slap—after all, she had just told him she had a boyfriend—but it never came. They stared at each other, hazel meeting green.

What had gotten into him? He blamed it on Amy and her brother. They were making him impulsive. Heedless. There was just something about that girl that made him lose his senses. It made him want to run his fingers through her thick russet-colored hair and—

"Okay, who wants to shower next?" Dan walked into the living room. His eyes darted from Jake to Amy and then narrowed.

Jake pushed himself up from the couch. "I'll go."

As he left, he overheard Dan saying, "Now you're with _him_? He turned us in to Interpol, remember? I'd rather you pick the Computer over that blockhead!"

* * *

Jake closed his eyes and let the water wash over him. His muscles relaxed. The crease in his forehead smoothed.

Now he could think.

His thoughts wandered, as it had for the past few days, to Amy Cahill. He had pondered his feelings for her during yesterday's shower and come to the conclusion that he had a crush on the redhead. He admired her intelligence, her strength (both emotional and physical), and her leadership. He adored her red locks and her bright green eyes.

The question now was what to do about it.

He groaned. He had almost kissed her on the couch. If she hadn't stopped him, he would've kissed her and he wouldn't be feeling as discomfited and frustrated as he did now.

But the fact was that Amy _had_ jerked back. She had a boyfriend.

And so the only other option was to wait. _It's just a crush_, Jake reminded himself. _It'll pass over._ But all he could think about were the freckles so evenly spaced on Amy's cheekbones…

He groaned and turned off the shower. God, he was _such_ an idiot.


	2. Food

**Thanks for the reviews, guys! This one's also set in Dead of Night, when they're at the airport.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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_Jake and Amy were off to get food._

-The Dead of Night, p. 188

-x-

"Alright, I'm going to get us some food," Amy said. "Who wants to come?"

"I'll go," Jake said, and hastily added, "To make sure you don't just pick out junk food. Atticus needs his nutrition."

The other Rosenbloom was sacked out against the wall. Amy felt her gaze soften. _Poor kid._ Atticus was only eleven years old; the same age Dan had been when they first started the Clue Hunt.

"Dan."

"What?"

Amy stared at her brother. "I'm getting_ food_. Who was it that said their life mission was to try potato chips from every single country?"

Dan shrugged. "That was a long time ago. I was _ten_." His eyes flickered. "I'm gonna check out the gift shop. You guys bring me back some chips, okay?"

And then he was gone. Amy sighed and grabbed Jake's arm. "Let's go."

They walked in silence. "So what's up with your brother?" Jake asked finally.

Amy wondered if she should tell him off for his nosiness. But when she looked up at him, she saw genuine concern in his eyes. "He's changed."

"How?"

"He's…darker. Two years ago, I was constantly telling him off for being such a dweeb. I wished he'd grow up. But now that he has grown up, I would give anything for him to go back to what he was before." She frowned as they stepped onto the escalator. "We went through so much during the Clue hunt. Sometimes I wish that we had taken the two million dollars in the beginning and never joined."

Jake was silent for a second. "I still don't understand what this 'Clue hunt' was. Was it like a family scavenger hunt?"

Amy had to smile. "You know, that's what we told our au pair at first. It _is_ kind of like a scavenger hunt. You're handed a hint that leads you to the first clue, which leads you to the second clue and so on until you find all 39 Clues and claim the final prize." She bit her lip. "It's not that simple, of course. There were people willing to do whatever it took to win. Even kill."

They stepped onto the first floor. Jake's head was tilted to the side, something Amy noticed he did whenever he was puzzled. "Au pair?"

"You know. Baby-sitter."

"I know perfectly well what the word means," Jake said. He was clearly offended. "What I meant was I didn't know you had an au pair. Where is she now?"

Amy's grin disappeared. "She's being held hostage."

Amy didn't want to see the light in his eyes when he pieced two and two together. She spun toward _McCafe_, needing a frappuccino.

They did not speak until she finished ordering. Jake put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm sorry I brought up the topic."

Amy managed a smile. Maybe Jake was a jerk, but he could also be quite sweet. Like how he had hugged her at the airport in Prague when he saw she was safe. Like how he had sacrificed himself and his immaculately clean record to distract the Samarkand police. Like how he had almost kissed her on the couch at the hotel…

Amy immediately pushed away the image. She had pushed him away, of course, because she would never cheat on Evan. But she couldn't forget that a part of her had wanted him to kiss her, had wanted to feel the pressure of his lips on hers, before her conscience told her no.

They picked up four sandwiches, two bags of chips, and a few granola bars.

"Chicken-flavored chips?" Jake said, staring at the label on the bag. They stepped off the escalator and walked over to where Dan and Atticus were waiting. "Who eats this stuff?"

Amy shrugged. "Dan."

"Your brother should be the posterchild for Obese America."

"Hey!" Dan protested. He grabbed the bag out of Jake's hand. "Thanks dudes."

"Dudes?" Jake snorted.

"Someone's in a better mood," Amy added.

"Whatever," Dan said, popping the bag open. "Just pumped up for Germany."


	3. Geeks

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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_Dan snickered. "Why don't you just call them both Jakevan-wouldn't that be easier?"_

–Trust No One, p.39

-x-

Evan Tolliver was just so _geeky_.

Not that Jake had an aversion to geeks. He knew he himself was considered a geek by some—after all, he was raised by academics and his friends were mostly made up of the children of his parents' friends. But Amy's boyfriend met even the most extreme standards of geekhood.

His huge glasses and his clothes—a gray vest and a collared shirt—radiated dorkiness. His voice was nasal and he was careful to articulate every syllable.

Of course, Jake knew he was just trying to find reasons to hate the guy. What he hated most, he found, was the expression on Evan's face whenever he looked at Amy. The guy was obviously in love with her. Fortunately, Amy didn't seem to feel the same way. Jake felt spiteful satisfaction at her cool treatment of her boyfriend and the hurt that Evan was poorly concealing.

Even now, as he watched them talk in the corner, Amy seemed to be purposely putting a little space between her and Evan. Her arms were crossed over her chest, which Jake read as a defensive gesture.

Jake wondered what Amy had initially seen in the guy. He remembered that Amy was a bit of a nerd herself; she had a love for books and knowledge and wasn't afraid to show it. His heart warmed as it always did when he thought about the redhead.

"Well, they seem to be over," a voice remarked next to him. Dan was studying him with the same look that Amy often wore. Not for the first time, Jake marveled at the siblings' identical eyes, both of which were of a bright jade color and held great intelligence.

In the beginning, Jake had viewed Amy's brother as thoughtless and immature and therefore a bad friend choice for Atticus. However, after a while, he warmed up to the younger boy. Even though he would never admit it, Dan sometimes reminded him of himself. They shared the same snarky humor and were both prone to impatience when things weren't done _fast_. They were also annoyed by overtly book-loving people—namely, their own siblings. In addition, Jake was happy to see that Dan was also unimpressed with his sister's geeky boyfriend.

"I doubt Amy will actually break up with him though," Dan continued. "And until she does, don't mess with their relationship. And by that, I mean STOP FLIRTING WITH MY SISTER."

Jake felt his cheeks warm. Although Dan shared Atticus' love for burping and fart jokes, he was also more mature than Atticus in some ways. For example, right now, Dan had a wary look on his face and his tone had been serious.

Jake smiled. While Amy was very protective of her brother, Dan looked out for her too. "Alright, Dan. After all, I wouldn't want you to use your tough ninja skills on me."


	4. Comfort

**Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 Clues series.**

**This one's set at the end of Trust No One.**

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Jake rubbed his eyes. His gaze, which had been fixed firmly on his laptop screen for the past few hours, drifted over to the window. The sky was a dark blue color and scattered with stormy gray clouds. The window was streaked with clear droplets. With a jolt, Jake realized two things: one, it was raining and two, Amy Cahill was out without an umbrella.

Long after he tucked Atticus in bed and Dan had disappeared into the bathroom (Jake suspected he had fallen asleep on the toilet again as he had been in there for nearly an hour now), Jake remained awake. About five tabs were open on his laptop, which he had used to research Archimedes' doomsday device. But the main reason why he was up was because he was waiting for a certain green-eyed girl.

_Amy, where are you?_

Immediately after they returned to the hotel, Dan had booked them morning flights to Attleboro.

"But what if Amy isn't back by then?" Atticus had asked.

"She'll be back," Dan had replied firmly. "She wouldn't want us to waste any time when we could be working on a plan to stop the Vespers or save the hostages."

"And we can always cancel the flights if we need to," Jake had interjected. To which Dan simply repeated: "She'll be back."

Jake felt slightly ashamed when he thought about how much Dan believed in his sister. He thought about how Erasmus, who was at least thirty years Amy's senior, had called the Cahill girl "boss" and taken her orders as easily as a sergeant would from his commander. Jake knew that Amy was strong and capable—he'd seen her take down men bigger and stronger than her—and therefore perfectly capable of finding her way back to their hotel.

And yet he still worried for her. Everyone else saw Amy as the great Cahill leader over the sixteen-year-old girl. But he had seen the cracks forming in her armor lately. He knew Dan did too, but the younger boy seemed to rather want to believe that his sister would get over it.

With a sigh, he glanced back at a PDF file from the Yale University website on the blueprints of Archimedes' inventions—and then the faint _ding _sound of the hotel elevator made his head snap back up.

A few seconds later, the door was pushed open. Amy didn't seem to see him as she kicked off her sneakers and took off her coat. Her jeans were soaked and her hair was a dark brown color due to the rain.

It was only when she turned around that she realized he was watching her—and even then, her eyes only met his for a second before flitting away. Her voice was soft. "Hey."

"Hey," he said back and swallowed as he tried to think of something to say. She had been out for about six hours… "There's cold pizza in the kitchen if you're hungry."

She gave him a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. As she walked closer to him, Jake noticed that her skin was pale and sallow. She looked like a ghost, he thought with a shiver. There was a slight red mark near her collarbone, where he had noticed her rubbing at for the past few days.

"I'm not hungry." Her eyes flitted to her computer screen. A shadow passed over her eyes.

"Amy, are you all right?"

Amy just looked at him. It was a stupid question, Jake knew. She was most definitely _not_ all right. And in that moment, she cracked.

Her whole body shuddered. Tears welled up in her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. Jake reached for her. Her skin was cold and wet. He put his arms around her as she shivered and cried, choking out apologies through her sobs.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I'm so, so, so sorry about everything, so, so sorry…"

He wanted to tell her that it was okay, that they would find some way to stop the Vespers and save everyone. But the truth was that it wasn't okay, that they could not erase the deaths or suffering no matter what they did.

"I'm sorry, too," he told her. He held her and stroked her hair until her cries died and she fell asleep.

* * *

**I liked Jamy better when it wasn't as canon. :| But I think there will be at least 2 more oneshots coming, set in Day of Doom, and then we'll see what Unstoppable brings. ;)**


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